A NEWBIE TO THE BLOG, Mary offers up three pages for our review and comment. Please don’t let me be the only one who offers her feedback. Get in here with your thoughts and your suggestions!
FROM MARY:
Hi Ed!
Mary Kincy from The Courier in Russellville, Ark., here. I was priviledged to attend your recent workshop in Little Rock.
Here are a few pages completed by our desk in recent days. We’d love to hear your thoughts!
Thanks a million,
Mary
FROM ED:
1. Good to see that you’re setting all text flush left—on this and other pages. That must make life a lot easier for you.
2. Your nameplate really needs fixing. It’s got a ’60s look to it. Seems un-serious.
3. Love the lead photo…and the play you gave it.
4. Would like to see more spacing between packages.
5. Don’t like the side caption on the residence hall photo. Cropping some of the floor would have allowed you to place the caption underneath.
6. Any reason why the residence hall photo is tilted within its frame? This looks like a fad and an affectation. Maybe for a magazine or a feature front, but it doesn’t seem to work here.
7. Lots of air in the rail column on the left. Seems to me you could make better use of this valuable space. Have you considered giving that space back to the top of the page…maybe putting some of that material down next to the ad?
FROM ED:
1. Not sure the “Kooky…” headline face goes well with this package. Stencil type with pix of kids? Nah.
2. Cute pix but might have been better had you aligned the right photo with the others. There’s more floor in the right pic.
3. Despite the pullout, the story looks long. And…it jumps!
4. Not sure where you’re getting your colors. The orange, the purple. Did you try to grab those out of the photos?
5. Don’t like the screen behind the Simpson column.
6. Overall, the page is just uninspired. Perhaps doing a cutout on the middle photo…and then running it HUGE(!!) might have helped. The page just feels as though it were assembled…not designed.
FROM ED:
1. You need to decide which is the lead photo on this page. These pix are almost exactly the same size. One photo must be dominant.
2. Both briefs seem a bit long. I try to keep two-col-wide briefs to no more than about two inches deep. These aren’t briefs…they’re longs.
3. Wrapping the bottom brief around the ads is a no-no. This kind of wrap can make it appear at first that the ads are elements that somehow go with the brief. Next time, place the ads next to each other in that two-column hole, and then run the brief down to them.
4. Looks like a slow wire news day, what with the shuttle story being the lead and then giving all that space to the re-enacment package.
