A final 9.11 tribute

ONE FINAL SUBMISSION to the 9.11 pages—and we’re grateful to Laurie Swenson in Bemidji for sending it along. Again, thanks to all for your notes and for taking the time to send your pages.

FROM LAURIE:

Hi Ed,

I missed your request earlier this month for 9/11 pages. I was sorry to learn that you lost a cousin on 9/11. I’m glad you get some comfort from the commemoration of those who died. I was impressed with the page that listed the 2,977 reasons to remember.

In case you are still adding pages, I have attached what we did on Sept. 11. I wasn’t sure if I should do just the front page or the whole of what we did, so I included the two inside pages we did as well, in one PDF. If you want just the front, feel free to extract it.

Take care, Ed.

Laurie

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Pages from: Emily Killian | Statesville Record & Landmark

EMILY SENDS ALONG these three pages with a brief note: “Here are a few more I scraped together.”

FROM ED:

1. Well, you certainly do pack in the teasers on Sunday! I understand that teasers have to have strong pull, but with this many of them and the different color backdrops I’m afraid it gets to be a hodgepodge. I’m more of a minimalist when it comes to teasers. I just think this is v-e-r-y busy.

2. I’m not a fan of the red overlines. I know that part of the reason to use them is to inject some negative space into the page, but I see these and I think readers have to go “back-upwards” to read them. The headline draws the eye first, then these overlines…and readers have to go back and up to read the . I’d rather just see more negative space placed in the design.

3. I’m also not a fan of side captions, especially those more than a few lines. I can’t offer an alternative here without having to redesign the entire package…but I would consider that!

4. Lots of wasted space in the index/obits/etc. package. I think you can make this shallower. And try to find weather photos instead of icons!

FROM ED:

1. Much better teasers, especially the use of the surfer art.

2. That lead “Events planned” headline is dull, wooden.

3. Ditto the lead photo. I’d rather have seen a photo of them checking out with a batch of coupons in their fists. This is really flat.

4. I’ll go on record as not liking the video camera logo in the online refer. Too cute…and seems to state the obvious.

5. Bottom story is a sea of gray. OK…maybe it’s just a lake of gray.

6. Ditto the overlines.

7. Ditto the bottom package and the weather icon.

FROM ED:

1. Lead art is fun.

2. Lead headline may tell the story, but it sure doesn’t link with the art. I might have used something like: “A SQUARE PEG?” as the all-cap headline. Well, at least you got the “Study squares off” in the drop head.

3. Might have worked better to move the SpongeBob infobox to the bottom of the package. This is a sea (not a lake) of gray.

4. Did you consider running the SpongeBob text in three columns? Flush left? That could have lessened the gray feel.

5. Moving the Avatar art to the top of the fourth leg may also have helped break the gray.

6. Do you always run a reversed section flag? Ugh!

One thought kept going around in my head (a dangerous place to be!) as I was looking at these pages—especially the two fronts: That these are the product of some corporate design-think. They have the feel of so many other papers I see…and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Page from: Karen Geary | Paris Post-Intelligencer

KAREN SENT THIS PAGE a week or so ago to show me that attention to design is beginning to take hold at the P-I. There’s still a way to go, but this page is a leap forward for folks there. When I asked Karen if I could post the page on this blog she replied: “Sure, why not — I’m a glutton for punishment.”

FROM ED:

Instead of punishment, I actually had encouragement in mind. As I mentioned, there’s still a way to go…perhaps a long way. But every great journey begins with one small step.

Some thoughts on this page:

1. The headline treatment needs more contrast. Put “PILLS” in a bolder (maybe even black) type. Then move the ampersand down to the second line, with “DOLLAR BILLS.” And use a lighter face there.

2. Instead of mixing serif and sans serif faces in the headlines, I’d have gone with all sans serif, varying the size and the weights for the contrast I need.

3. The drop shadow on the headline is a good idea, but I’d have made it much softer. The hard shadow gives the page a very ’80s look.

4. I’d have made the pullout deeper and narrower. The text type on both sides of the pullout is too narrow for good readability.

5. I like the size of the photo (a breakthrough for the P-I!) and the gradient feather was a good idea.

Now…you’re on the journey!

Pages from: Scott M. Brings Plenty | Cherokee One Feather

THANKS TO SCOTT for his patience. These pages came in some weeks ago, but 1) Ed lost them the first time around, and 2) they were held for the 9.11 tributes.

FROM SCOTT: 

Hello Ed and blog:

This time I’ve submitted two pages that I hope everyone will tear apart as I hate them.  I feel that, overall, my design skills have improved (much kudos to this blog!!!), but I just can’t seem to do a letters page that I like.

I know not every page can be artistic or “neat-looking”, but I literally hate just about every single letters page I do.  There’s got to be a better way…so, in short…HELP!!

Thanks,

Scott

FROM ED:

1. Letters pages don’t have to be “designed.” They DO have to be clear, concise, consistent. And having a piece of art or two on the page doesn’t hurt. You can use a mug shot, a photo of a building or whatever that someone is writing about—the possibilities are usually there if you look for them.

2. Headlines should also be consistent in size and usage. It’s OK to have a larger headline on your lead letter, but not necessary. But all other letters should have the same size headline and the same number of lines.

3. Headlines should be about the letter, not addressed to certain people, like “Thank you Yellowhill voters” or “To the People of Big Cove.”

4. Capitalization in these headlines goes all over the park. In some, “You” is capped, others not. Be consistent.

4. I tire of “thank you” letters. Have you considered asking readers to buy thank-yous as ads?

5. Placing a space between the letter and the signature separates the signature from the letter. I think they should be contiguous.

6. Drop the “Sincerely,” Respectfully” and “Signed.” These add nothing but another line of space and they really mean very little.

7. As a reader, I want to know where these letter writers are from. Give me a line below their names with the name of their community.

8. Allow more space between the page label and the headlines and copy. I like two picas.

9. There’s excessive space between the Chief Hicks lead headline and the text of the letter.

10. Also, your indents are excessive. You need no more than a pica, sometimes less depending on your text type face and size. And…the indention seems greater on the page with the lead headline than on the other.

To me, the key here is not to “do design,” but to get the details right.