JAKE OFFERS the second batch of pages from the Press Publications group.
FROM JAKE:
I am sending you some covers from two of our papers here at Press Pubs.
Feel Free to critique them at full force; I am really interested in how we can make our papers better.
Thank you.
FROM ED:
1. Nameplate: ditto previous post.
2. Ad in ear: ditto previous post. Actually, this one is even busier.
3. At a glance header, secondary headers, typography and blue screen: ditto previous post.
4. Bottom ad: Not quite as overdone as Vadnais, but still pretty bad. Too many images, too many fonts, too many words. It’s overdesigned.
5. Hmmm. Wonder where I’ve seen that bee photo before. Oh, yeah: previous post.
6. Did we need all that sky in the construction photo?
7. I can’t see Pete Larsen’s face in the photo.
8. Like what you did with the Ranger art.
9. Rules between packages: ditto previous post. I’d rather see rules than a box, such as you have around the farmer package. It you use rules between packages, boxes are unnecessary.
10. Jumps: ditto previous post.
FROM ED:1. Ad at top left is probably the worst of the bunch…thought the Maplewood Toyota ad on the next front is close. These are overdesigned and they tend to cheapen the product (your newspaper) that you’re trying to sell to advertisers.
2. Why the heavy rule around the Jeff Anderson photo?
3. Ditto everything I’ve said previously about the At a glance package.
4. Ditto jumps.
5. The round corners on the graduation package is a very ’60s look. I think your design is stuck in a time warp!
FROM ED:1. Looks to me like the racetrack story is the only real news piece on this page. Shouldn’t it get the lead?
2. Maplewood Toyota ad is u-g-l-y.
3. Is “Best Brightest” a standing head? If so, you can do better. This has a retro look to it that seems out of place with the rest of the page.
4. Type to the right of the Thomas head shot is poorly word-spaced. Whenever we do a text wrap, we must pay attention to how the text breaks…and fix it if necessary. Not doing so just makes us look sloppy.
5. Thomas head shot should be cropped more tightly. No need to show half his torso.
6. More word-spacing problems in the third paragraph of the racetrack story.
7. Ditto jumps.
FROM ED:
1. Glad to see the map here but would advise your using much lighter colors. The bright colors here make this a bit more difficult to read. Best to emulate the colors in the graphic in the lead package.
2. Bike package is the best centerpiece in this group of pages. There’s no hassle with reading text over the photo. Instead, it’s a clean graphic over a good photo. OK, I’m not so good with the green headline.
3. Rules between packages would obviate the need for a box around the lead package.
4. Though still pretty busy, the bottom ad is a bit better because of the use of a photo here instead of computer-generated artwork. The entire ad just seems more structured and organized.
5. Ditto word-spaced type in At a glance.
6. Ditto jumps.
FROM ED:
1. Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I really wanted to see the altar and windows behind the choir in the centerpiece. Overlaying the box and story here denies me that—and makes the test more difficult to read. So, no, I’m not taken with this package.
2. Ditto bottom ad.
3. Ditto word-spaced type in At a glance.
4. Ditto jumps.
.
Is it me, or is there too much similarity on these fronts from issue to issue? It seems to me the approach is “centerpiece…and then everything else.” I don’t see much variation and that concerns me because it give me the impression that you’ve locked in to one approach on the fronts…and there should be more variety and more freedom to react to the news than what you’re allowing here.
Ed, I said the same thing about the altar photo before I read your critique. I really wish I could see the whole picture. I think that would have been the best piece of art in the whole bunch, but it was ruined with putting type over it.
Yeah…proof that even a good idea can work against you at times, and that we need to:
1. recognize those times when something doesn’t work.
2. find a better way to do it.
I SO agree … the overlay thing should be used sparingly and should NOT be used as a constant recurring element … it doesn’t work well enough often enough for it to be used regularly indiscriminately. I wanted to see the whole photo right out of the box in this case.
1. I really don’t like the blue screen behind the At A Glance. When I first started designing pages, I would use color in each and every way and some of my pages from back then were attrocious and just plain gaudy. The blue doesn’t really add anything and if the printer doesn’t get it right, the color could be darker than on your pdf which could make the type hard to read. Trust me, it can happen.
2. I prefer the bee package in the Forest Lake Press a ton better than the one in the Vadnais Heights Press. The text over the photo is the problem, as I see it, in the Vadnais paper. I do like the Forest Lake package though, and the quote pullout over the photo actually does work.
3. I agree that the racetrack article should have been played up more in the Quad Community Press. The article on the artist is neat, but probably not the top news of the day.
4. In the biking article, I am not a fan of the map over the biking photo. It is a nice photo and just gets lost to me with the map over the top. The article jumps, so maybe the map could have been displayed with the jump? That would have left the bike photo alone.
5. I agree with everyone else as well on the choirboys photo.
My first thought, as well, was that I would’ve liked to see the entire photo of the cathedral behind the choir. When we get a chance to show something a little more artistic like that in a newspaper (and not have it feel forced), I say go for it. Plus the depth would’ve added weight to the package.
On the page with the bike map … Kudos for the bike map. It’s a nice use for the package; however, there’s also a map on the story packaged right below it. Two maps for your front page on the same day seems a bit much, even though the maps are completely different.
Also, on the bike map legend: When it’s something that simple, you don’t need to note that the box IS the map legend in the first place. It’s obviously the map legend. Give your readers the benefit of the doubt that they can figure that out. And, legend is misspelled “Legand,” which jumped out at me hard.
Not sure I agree on your concern about two maps. If there were two photos (or two stories…or two infoboxes) on page 1, would we consider that a bit much? If two maps are good enough for page 1, then I say run two maps!