SCOTT IS A REGULAR contributor here, and he returns this week with four pages.
Hello Ed…hope all is well and that the summer is treating you well. I haven’t submitted any pages in awhile and thought I’d submit a few for review…one is a photo page and the other three are features pages. Thanks, Scott
1. Overall, I like the look of the page.
2. The headline leaves me a bit flat. Might have been better to have written it as:
at the drama
3. Largest photo on the page really has little to do with the drama.
4. The second largest photo is an audience shot—before the play begins.
1. Caption is almost lost…but it’s placement puts it right in the way of the action here. Looks like this person is about ready to walk right into it.
2. Lead head type is OK, though I’d have used something bolder and more condensed. Did you think of using the headline font as the typeface for the drop initial?
3. Subhead is too newsy-dull for a feature front. I think there are other, more interesting ways to say this.
1. I really like this page design, overall.
2. Why is the lead letter in the headline not capitalized?
3. I’d have placed the “talking stones” head in the top right corner of the photo—where it’s not over a part of the sculpture. If this meant that the headline had to be a bit smaller, so be it. I think the sculpture is too important here to place the headline over it.
4. Again, the subhead is written too newsy-dull. Subheads, too, need to have some life. This one doesn’t.
1. Another newsy-dull subhead.
2. Lead head typeface needs more character. Verdana is a good font for web pages and the like, but it doesn’t have the same visual appeal as, say, Photina or Kepler or other classier typefaces.
3. The story would be more readable had it been set in two legs. This is just toooooooo wide, especially at the top.
4. Placing the caption over the photo just ruins the impact of the photo.
5. I’d have done a closer clipping path, with no fade. The head of the second person in the back is distracting. Cut out this one person alone, give him larger size…and you have a winner. Here, there are just too many distractions.