SCOTT SUBMITS another spread for our review and comment. His brief note follows, then his page. Then…comments from Ed.
Hello Ed, hope all is going well. This is a double-truck I just completed. Thoughts? Thanks, Scott
1. I don’t get the blue in the overline and the first line of head. Is there a reason for that?
2. Why is the headline not capitalized?
3. The lead photo doesn’t get me into the package. Perhaps a straight-on shot might have been better—especially if it showed other runners. This is too little runner, too much background.
4. Text wrap around the bottom photo is too tight. Leave some breathing room.
5. The larger lead-in text feels too long for me.
6. I’d have made the text at bottom a bit more shallow and stretched it across, instead of leaving that extra column of space at the end.
7. Widow at the top of the fourth leg.
8. Did you consider running the text ragged right?
Seems to me, Scott, that you’re experimenting all the time—without really beginning to decide on what’s working and what’s not. It’s time for you to start deciding and choosing those elements that are good for your design—instead of making every new page another “guess” at what will make a good package.
How about the rest of you? Is Ed being to tough here…or do you agree?