EXECUTIVE EDITOR Jeanette Kendall sends along some more pages for review and comment. Her note follows, then her submissions, with comments from Ed.
I’ll follow up soon on Jeanette’s P.S. regarding design of pull quotes.
We have five papers. I sent you four of the front pages of the others already. Thanks for critiquing them. Here is the fifth. I couldn’t find her pages at the time I sent the others. I am also going to send you three of our sports guys’ pages if you could also critique those.
Thanks so much!
P.S. You made the comment on one of our papers that the over-sized quotes were outdated for a pull quote. I am wondering what an updated design would look like.
1. A page-deep gutter between the 2d and 3d legs splits this into two pages.
2. There’s so much going on in, over and below the flag that it’s just a mass of clutter. There’s the red overline with the white shadow on the gray type. Then the teasers with the left one waaaaayyyy overwritten and a booorrrring photo. Then the scream-at-me-red teaser headers. Then Radar Frog…for some purpose that readers are supposed to get but I don’t. Then the nameplate with two colors, an outline and a drop shadow. Then the slogan and other ancillary type. Then the blue bar with the web address. And…you still managed to squeeze in the $1 price. This is just…too…much.
3. Good photo on the baseball team, though I’d have been tempted to play it even larger. You don’t get to be No. 3 in the state every year.
4. “Five to be awarded as distinguished alumni” head is, I believe, incorrect usage. I don’t think people can be “awarded,” as this head states. People can be “rewarded” or “given awards,” but not “awarded.” Check it out. If I’m wrong, I’ll send you a free copy of 1o1 Henninger Helpful Hints.
5. It would have been good to see the pix of all five alumni awardees on the front. Some rework of the story could have done that.
1. Again, a full vertical gutter running the length of the page, splitting it in two.
2. The section flag is massive; it could be considerably smaller.
3. Let’s find something more creative to do with the space to the right of the section flag.
4. Suggestion: run that gray rule that’s under the section flag across the width of the page, then find a more elegant way to place directly below it all that type (do you really need all of it?) that’s in the red bar. Then, ditch the bar.
5. The blue box in the bottom left is gratuitous. There is no good reason for it there. And…it’s the most dominant element on the page. You didn’t want that to happen? That’s what a color box that size does.
6. Photos are all on outside edges and corners, making the page boring. Larger play of the baseball or pole vault photo would have helped.
1. Lead headline leaves me wondering what the story is all about.
2. This section flag is far superior to Chillicothe’s but, again, we should make better use of the space in the top right corner. Even an ad would be preferable.
3. Why the yellow over the baseball box and the red over the softball box? Are these team colors? Regardless, they don’t work. Readers try to infer some meaning from color and these have none. Golf: green? Soccer: black? Hockey: pink? Football: brown? No…let’s not go there.
4. Widow at top of 2d leg in Raiders story.
1. Section flag color is brick-in-the-face blue. Red over mug/pullout box is arrest-me red. Let’s tone it down.
2. Headline overlay damages a good lead photo, for no reason.
3. Too many cute touches here: the oval on the Spotlight package, the team logos scattered around the page, the red mug/pullout box with the shadow. Simple is better.
4. Kudos 0n running all the mugs. Those draw readers into the page.
5. I’d advise the designer of this page to notch it back a bit and go for a simpler, cleaner look. He/she is trying too hard.