ANOTHER NEWCOMER TO THE BLOG, Jay offers three pages for us to review. Jay’s notes follow, then his pages, with comments from Ed on each.
FROM JAY:
“Ed:
Jay Dickerson from The Galena Gazette here. We’re a weekly paper based in northwest Illinois. I welcome your comments. I’d like to know what we could be doing better.
Enclosed are a couple of recent front pages, as well as a sports page. Note the sports header–we’ve had it a while now, and we use the same style of header for Obituaries, Celebrations (our family page) and School Desk.
Thanks!
–Jay”
FROM ED:
1. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a nameplate soooooo busy. The photo…the teaser overlaying the photo…the reverse bar…the “176 years…” slogan. I keep looking for a partridge in a pear tree! This needs simplifying—quickly. To start, put the teaser at the top of the left rail. And put the “176 years…” in the rail, too. Then redo the bottom bar, taking it out of the reverse. Whew!
2. The shield art in the lead package would have worked had it been the firefighter’s actual badge, but it doesn’t appear to be so. If it’s something you’ve cobbled together, then it looks like clip art…and clip art makes you less believable as a newspaper.
3. Placing a tint block behind the photo tends to bleed the photo’s impact—especially when the tint is the same as the dominant color (sand) in the photo. My advice on tint blocks: stop. Now.
FROM ED:
1. I very much like the treatment on the lead story, with the quote above the headline. Very nicely done a good package. Good photo.
2. Oooops. Really bad widow at the top of the third leg.
3. Some readers may find your captions difficult to read because of the condensed type. But if you haven’t heard any complaints…
FROM ED:
1. Header works OK, though you may want to allow a bit of space between the bottom of the “p” and the rule below it.
2. Overall, a well done photo page. Good lead photo and other shots are well-cropped, sized and placed.
3. The check marks may be overdoing it a bit.
I like what I’m seeing here, for the most part. Fix the problems in the nameplate and you’ll advance light years in your design.
That’s my say. Let’s see what others think!
