HERE’S A SECOND BATCH of pages from Derek Schaper. We reviewed the first batch last week. The first page here goes with last week’s cover. The second two pages are from another story in Valdosta Scene. As usual, I offer comments below each.
FROM ED: The photos here are less than they could be. Although shooting the left photo from underwater is a very good idea, the pic is blurry either from camera movement or poor focus. The second photo is static. It would have helped had there been a bunch of kids in the pool behind “Mrs. Margie.” Better yet would have been a photo with her interacting with the kids and their parents.
I’m not sure the quote in the “bubbles” does it for me, though it certainly goes with the theme of the story. Just seems a bit too cute for my taste.
It’s the newspaper editor in me, I admit, but I just don’t like all lowercase headlines. I do like the placement of the lines, however. Gives a sense of movement that works for me.
FROM ED: I like the headline treatment. Also like the large photo at left, though it seems to me that the Playboy medallion was so perfectly placed that it was done for some important reason (that I don’t get). What bothers me in that photo is the very white object (looks like paper taped to the wall) in the background to her left. I’d have used Photoshop to paint that out. The top of the Coke can (bottom left) is also distracting. Again, I’d have painted it out. Second page is very appealing, from the drop initial to the quote to the series of three pics at the bottom done in Playboy Interview style.
FROM ED: I don’t see the rationale in “checkerboard” design. I’d rather see both photos at top (or bottom) with the type running contiguous in one swath across both pages.
There ya have it: My thoughts on these pages. So…what are your comments? Criticisms? Witticisms? Let’s hear ’em!