I RECENTLY OFFERED a design workshop in Minnesota and one of those attending was Marah Pahl, who sent a couple of pages for your review and comment. One of Marah’s points, on the first page below: “One bad thing I do notice right away is the weird text wrap around the leg of the skier. Any suggestions and comments for the future would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.”
My observations follow each page.
FROM ED: You’re right, Marah—the notch at the end of the third leg is strange. Otherwise, the page design is quite good, I think. But…the cartoon in the upper left corner has got to go! I’ve seen this paper before…and mentioned that before. I think it makes your paper look like a high school yearbook. There are much better ways to place those elements there—I suggest you consider upgrading the nameplate ASAP.
FROM ED: A few items to mention…
1. Why the extra space between paragraphs? I assume it’s style but I don’t see the rationale.
2. Structure doesn’t help readers to tell the difference between packages.
3. Wordspacing and letterspacing in text is crude.
4. Reversed headline in centerpiece is an outdated approach.
5. Squared text wraps around the school logos at top create an unpolished look.
6. You really, really need to do something about the cartoon in the nameplate.
How about the rest of you? Comments? Criticisms? Let fly!